Seven Bad things that won’t happen to you if you practise Chastity…and one good thing that will:
Chastity is defined as celibacy (no genital contact) plus no intrigue, objectification or fantasy.
When you are chaste:
You do not have “an anxious mind”. Why?
Because all your pain and problems are one step removed from your immediate, emotional field of activity , because you have a higher, more important, spiritual goal that you can turn to in times of stress, which gives you perspective on your pain and problems. And perspective is how the Big Book defines “sanity”. Without perspective... you are nuts.
2. You do not have “eyes weary with longing”
When you objectify, there will always be women who are more beautiful than you could possibly hope to match with your looks, too young to be possible for you to reasonably attract, too wealthy for you to be able to interest, too socially connected-up to even notice you.
This creates “ eyes weary with longing “.
It’s what the 12x12 describes as “sexual desire all dressed up as dreams of romance ”.
This unresolvable, sexually hungry environment sets you up for masturbation with adolescently impossible fantasies with the pursuant “ pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization”…which always follows.
3. You do not have “a despairing heart”.
It is heartbreaking to think that you will never make love to, or be loved by, sexual “genetic celebrities” that you see on movies, magazines or walking in your neighborhood.
The truth is that the very best you can attract is exactly where you are.
If you have sexual problems…you will attract a partner with her own constellation of sexual problems. If you are obsessive, you will attract a partner who has problems with her own obsessions.
Actually, you can attract someone who is worse than you, because all of us are “ dating up”, but you will never attract someone better than you.
That leaves you with only two choices: Work on yourself and “develop your character”…or have a “despairing heart”.
4. The sights you see will not “drive you mad”.
If you are a male sex addict (and you are straight) you may feel anger towards all females who are above the legal age and who are not ugly, old, fat or crazy.
Why is that?
If your belief is that sex, and particularly sex with love, is the very best thing that life offers you as a man, and you don’t have the social skills to implement the successful beginning of this process, you may start to believe that women are “holding out” on you, that they are in control of the "best part of life", and are denying you access for some inscrutable, indecipherable reason.
That means you’re mad at every woman you see.
It’s possible, in a world of infinite possibilities, that this male rage…is not their fault.
This rage is actually what drives the compulsion to masturbate to porn.
The mere sight of pretty women could thereby simply “drive you mad”....but, that won't happen with chastity.
5. You are not “in suspense”.
One of the problems with holding and adhering to this preceding set of false beliefs is that the possibility of you finally getting what you erroneously believe you truly “need” is precarious, dependent on the whims or fancies of women who you have little influence over and certainly no control.
Instead of being calm …You will be jumpy all the time, waiting for some girl to be sexually generous , or not subtle enough to see that you are just trying to hustle her.
6. You will not “ be filled with dread”.
The feeling state that these beliefs cause is dread. “ Oh, no, another day of fighting the world for what I need! “ “This is unbearable”. “ Pot, Cigars, Coffee, a couple of French Danishes will get me through this holy hell I am living in”.
Chastity eliminates that dread…without the Danishes.
7. You will not be “unsuccessful in everything you do”.
That feeling of dread, of being held in suspense, of being driven mad, feeling weary, despairing and anxious is a perfect description, emotionally, of sexual unmanageability and leads only to one thing…failure in life.
On the other hand, if you surrender all this madness:
You can “be sure of your life today”.
There is a wonderful, simple, feeling that AA discovered 87 years ago. Once you find out what God’s will is for you, and do it, life is pretty simple and pleasant.